Entry 14 : Thinking is the enemy. Doing is the friend.
Friday 24th July, 2020, 5:40AM.
Shifting through a negative cycle. I’m currently waking up haphazardly. Woke up at around 8:30PM yesterday. My hair is growing longer. A bit of hairfall. My room floor has traces of hair probably from beard also. Virat Kohli is lucky to have working gym during this lockdown.
Oh man, watching too many sadhguru videos and generating penetrating thoughts into what he’s saying and figuring out my own meaning from that. Investigation sort of. Exhaustive. Receptive. Mild headache today. Don’t know why. Maybe all the bullshit I’m eating. Uninstalled swiggy.
3 Rules.
- Swiggy order only on Sundays
- Fap only on Sundays
- Restrict daily screen time to 5hrs initially.
Headache maybe because of the shambo mantra practice. Not sure. I got this sort of headache twice before. Once when I did some pranayama in a sequence in the morning after waking up. And then after jalneti etc, did shambavi. Later that day I had some mild throbbing headache in my right lobe. Amber. Suvarcha. Nivetha. Olga. Marie. Sravanthi. Charul. Women in Krishna’s Life. Krishna. I want union with the whole universe. That means I have to work on the feminine side of myself. The masculine cannot unite with the whole universe. Because the way of the masculine is to dominate and conquer. How the fuck can I make Pluto obey my fucking command? That’s impossible. The only way is to go inside, work on my feminine, expand my aura to the whole universe.
Self Sabotage
This is a big major hot topic right now in my life. I’m self-sabotaging like a maniac. Eating wrong food. Jacking off. I guess these 2 are the only areas of my life right now that I’m doing while not wanting to do them. Other things like watching youtube videos, movies, not doing yoga, not working out etc these are all under my control. I’m able to stop watching youtube videos when my inner voice says something is off. To some level, I’m able to throw off junk food that I purchased because my inner voice says so. When it comes to sexuality, my inner voice says ‘You’re a hot alpha. You need to fuck hard. And release the semen.’ Maybe my inner voice doesn’t want to handle sexual arousal. I see trigger (porn, some mental fantasy, instagram, whatsapp, actual women on the street, some erotic reference etc) and my inner child gets aroused and wants pleasure, fun, adventure. Fapping is fucking pleasurable. I need to bring more consciousness into fapping. Conscious fapping. Fap fully if I feel like it. But have the sword in your hand and swing it and say “NO” if the inner voice doesn’t want to fap. Listen more to the inner voice when it comes to sexual arousal.
Murari movie I like. Songs are good. Heroine is damn beautiful. Kriti sanon is really pretty and has some good intelligence and decency too. Well I may be projecting. The union I’m seeking is not with kriti sanon. It’s with the whole cosmos. Truth — Ramin Djawadi — Game of Thrones soundtrack.
Want to post 4 insta stories. Because they are cool. They make me look cool. And also sharing my vibes with good people. That will make them also think I’m a good person. And it’s cool to do a sing-off with a cuckoo. And cats.
If I want to manifest outside the way I want, then I have to act. Doing is the friend. Doing is my asset. Invest into it. Don’t think. Do. Like writing this article. Don’t jump to “I will read books first and then I will implement.” That you are still prioritising learning over doing. Just do. Create an instagram page and start sharing content and use hashtags and revamp old books AMS campaigns. Draft new book ideas. Re-ignite sales to old books. Update copywritten descriptions. AMS ads mostly. Explore the market. Explore various niches, best selling books. Start designing covers, posters on photoshop. Start writing copy for some topics/products/samples from Upwork. Start designing apps and web screens etc. Pick a random product and launch a sample Facebook campaign for $1/day budget and test and see. This is doing. Doing and Learning are the two things you need to manifest business and financial success. Err on the side of doing right now. Learning is when there’s a block or a requirement for additional knowledge. Actually I don’t know how to build a good publishing brand. So yes there is an actual requirement for learning this for which I can use AIA course and my books. But in parallel, I can revamp the AMS ads and launch 2–3 more good books in good topics under existing pen-names. That will boost my income. And in parallel, put 1 lakh in FD, 2 lakhs in a mutual fund. Buy cycle and do exercise everyday. Buy pull up bar and install it in the balcony. Start drinking coconut juice, ashgourd juice with pepper/honey, kale juice, fruits, groundnuts, bread and ghee, spinach omlette, soups etc. Learn 3 new veg satvik meal recipes this month. Post it on Insta. Start popping nilavembu kashayam daily. Slowly inculcate triphala chooranam also (removes tridoshas I guess). Fill up the water cans with water. Will last me the whole month.
There’s an Adiyogi statue (small one) on my table. It reminds me of the state of mind, the living experience I want to have of this moment. Present. Relaxed. Calm. Joyful. Clear vision. Perceptive. Receptive. Higher planes of consciousness. At ease. Meditative. Perfectly Detached yet involved.
So I want to go for a walk now. Goodbye.
Hopefully, by next article writing, I will start an instagram page and start sharing content, revamp 1 good audiobook and launch a good AMS campaign to generate immediate income. Atleast finish 1 book. Perhaps filthy rich. Listening to inner voice more when it comes to eating and fapping.
Conscious eating.
Conscious fapping.
Here we go.
